Food cravings & up too late

Want fish & chips!  After midnight, don't really feel tired.  Though I am doing a few yawns, slow learner?  Hmm what is the pay off??  Not having to be in real world next day??  Been irritable & had an absence of feeling, makes it hard to connect with hubby & the kids.  Day 22, hmm think I missed last two nights of filling in chart of symptoms, thats the trouble with this bloody PMDD, forgetfulness just when you need evidence to create a paper trail of proof in case I need to go the dr route again.  5-7 days with any luck and happy sanity returns...

Visited a Monastery at the weekend, stayed two nights.  Was very very quiet, too much after less than 24hrs!!  But had great friend there so talked a bit in eve and was relieved of my loneliness.  Did you know that 100's of cows biting off grass makes lots of noise, not unpleasant, but surprising to a townie :-)  Sat in hot sun, read, wasn't distracted by tv or the net.  Had my own lovely room with ensuite, quite a luxury, warm, selfcontained, inspirational books.  Yes, missing it a little.

So despite being seriously late to bed & already likely to be a grump tomorrow, it's a new day right, so could yet be outstanding.  And it's Tuesday so Monday is past, that's a good thing.  Plans to go help a friend do some packing, must fit in a walk or the gym.  Would like to stretch the energy to baking and sewing and some tidy up but hey lets wait & see.  If only I didn't keep getting caught up in tv shows...  Be strong, turn it off, brush teeth, check children & doors, go to bed.  Want cake, lemon cake with yoghurt, raspberry choc cake...

Too much paper

So I have made it to my blog in my sane time!  Very tired, still terrible at going to bed & sleep at a decent time.  And this week battling a niggling throat and cough.  But functioning!  Found birth cert. to enrol my boy at intermediate, remade a bed, did some washing, part cooked tea, did dishes, pretty good really.  And without having to force myself :-)  Trying to get mentally prepared for the PMDD monster.  Like that terminology, borrowed from other sufferers on my new Facebook group, so amazing to have discovered a place to be "normal" and the same as many other women.  Need to ensure I have a plan and that my family has a plan.  Cause it just isn't if, it's when and that is scary.  I am grateful I know I will "come round again" but in the depths it's pretty hard to believe.  Need to get my house ordered & under control so I can refocus on creativeness & me!  Not quite sure how when my energy is often lacking & my brain has not been open to creative solutions for our storage issues, but I guess history shows that I usually figure out something, so perhaps I can find hope and trust that it will be ok.